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 Airline Humor!

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Rowlar
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Motto: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Best Meal =: Don't eat. Use Photosynthesis

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PostSubject: Airline Humor!   Airline Humor! I_icon_minitimeWed May 06, 2009 4:53 pm

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >
> > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> > S: Evidence removed.
> >
> > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > S: That's what they're there for.
> >
> > P: IFF inoperative.
> > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> > P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> > S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> > P: Number 3 engine missing.
> > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> > P: Aircraft handles funny.
> > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> > P: Target radar hums.
> > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >
> > P: Mouse in cockpit.
> > S: Cat installed.
> >
> > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
> > pounding on something with a hammer.
> > S: Took hammer away from midget.

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Airline Humor! Ibexax
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XiX LLAMA XiX
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XiX LLAMA XiX


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Motto: I will Devour your hearts and crap out your SOULS!!
Best Meal =: Breakfast

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PostSubject: Re: Airline Humor!   Airline Humor! I_icon_minitimeWed May 06, 2009 8:33 pm

Nice
Cat: Installed cat

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Airline Humor! Xix20llama20xix
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AgentJWall
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Motto: "It may be a sin to kill a mockingbird, but to mock a killing bird is pure insanity!"
Best Meal =: Breakfast

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PostSubject: Re: Airline Humor!   Airline Humor! I_icon_minitimeThu May 14, 2009 3:38 pm

that's awesome Laughing
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weasser
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Motto: In Frog We Trust, always...
Best Meal =: Don't eat. Use Photosynthesis

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PostSubject: Re: Airline Humor!   Airline Humor! I_icon_minitimeSat May 23, 2009 5:33 pm

lol, read that in german,lol

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PostSubject: Re: Airline Humor!   Airline Humor! I_icon_minitime

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